A 007 Fanfic: Hello Tasty Chapter 1 WHERE'S MY BACON?!?!

So this is a fanfic that has been in my head for a while. My friend (MAGGIE IS AWESOME!!!) inspired me to do this fanfic and now I shall write it on blogger. *DISCLAIMER* I do not own any of the 007 franchise, or PETA, the Jonas Bros. (YUCK! Glad I don't!). 

James Bond came back from a tough mission and is back home in London. He sees the phone ring nonstop. 

"Damn, it's that crazy bitch M. She canceled my credit cards and I wanted to go to Amsterdam!" 

After that Bond decided to answer the phone: 

"Hello?" 

"Bond, I shall give you your next mission tomorrow." 

"All right." 

"Oh and.."

"What is it?"

"Just....be careful with your bacon." 

After M hangs up, Bond was thinking what does she mean to be careful with my bacon. After pondering for a while he decides to go to bed.  The next morning he gets up and dressed, goes down to the kitchen to make some bacon. He goes to his  refrigerator and finds that he has no bacon. Once he discovers this, he hears his doorbell. Outside was a delivery man with a package for him. 

"I didn't order anything!" 

"Well it has your name and your address." 

Bond signs and then takes his mysterious package, he calls M. 

"M." 

"Yes Bond?"

"There's some strange package that was sent to me this morning." 

"Be careful, I say open it right now." 

"Fine." 

Bond opens the package and finds a letter, it's from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals also known as PETA. The letter states: 

Dear Mister, 

It has come to our knowledge that you love bacon. We also know that you love women. If you haven't already known, bacon is made from dead pigs. There has also been research that eating meat daily can cause impotence. So we at PETA have decided to send you a supply of vegan bacon. Vegan bacon is much healthier than that other junky bacon you eat. Now you will be able to go to Amsterdam with those ladies. 

PETA 

Bond stands in his place for a minute. After that he searches through the package and indeed he finds a supply of vegan bacon as stated in the letter from PETA. 

"WHERE'S MY BACON?!?!?!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" 

"Bond? Come to headquarters now and bring the package with you." 

As Bond is driving to his headquarters, he is also flipping through radio stations. He then hears the girly voices of some band that considers themselves rock, singing a cover of The Beatles song "Hello, Goodbye".  

"WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE?!?! THE CAN'T SING!" 

And that song was Hello, Goodbye by the Jonas Brothers!  stated the DJ on the radio.  Bond gets to headquarters to meet up with M. 

"Your new mission Bond, is to find these people at PETA." 

"Will do cause I want my bacon!" 

"PETA is under the FBI's watchlist. They have been connected with extremist animal rights activists that burn down animal testing centers in the name of animal rights. Also you should keep an eye on these people." 

The screen shows three boys, the Jonas Brothers. 

"Why should I keep an eye on those talentless kids?" 

"Just do it for now." 

To be continued......